Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize