I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
should my penis look like a turkey
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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