this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
