hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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