Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
