she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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