I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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