Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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