i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize
