is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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