Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
