hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
