that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
