btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
ttyl tear gas
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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