I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
