Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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