Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
