Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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