is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
