I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I see more hoeing in ur future
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