just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
