Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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