I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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