Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
