Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
