Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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