No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
