I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Life is so much better after having sex.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
