In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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