Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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