No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
