So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
