So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
