What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
