yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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