I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
