Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
