OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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