I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
