Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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