Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
