im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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