grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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