i was born a porn star she said
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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