We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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