was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Four minutes until I can fart!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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