We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
