Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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