she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
