Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
