whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
