i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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