I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
