So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
